Umm, I’ve been busy

You know the problem with a garden? Well, you spend all of this time and effort preparing the ground. Then you have to plant all of the little buggers. And then there is the weeding, and hoeing and composting and it is just work, work, work.

And then – after you have worked your fingers to the bone how do these ungrateful little plant buggers show how much they appreciate your efforts? THEY MAKE YOU MORE WORK.

Somebody has to pick all of those damn veggies & fruits. Somebody has to process them before they go bad and you feel guilty for putting in all of that work and letting it rot. And let me ask you, who has two thumbs and is the only person around to do all of this work?

THIS GAL!

I will be able to better document the canning efforts that I have been engaging in at a later date but for now I can give you a list. In addition to the peach fest I have already recounted I have produced:

• 7 half pints of Red Onion & Sage Jelly
• 4 half pints of Red Pepper & Garlic Jelly
• 7 half pints of Banana Pepper Jelly
• 6 half pints of Tomato, Coriander and Ginger Jam
• 6 half pints of candied Cantaloupe
• 7 pints of Corn Relish
• 5 pints of Tomato Salsa
• 6 pints of Tomatillo Salsa

And that doesn’t include the 12 quart bags of tomato sauce, 6 bags of corn on the cob, 4 quart bags of creamed corn and 4 quarts of home dehydrated figs in the freezer.

There is a full sized paper grocery bag in the ‘fridge full of banana peppers waiting to be turned into jelly and hiding below it is a bag of jalapenos to keep things interesting. The tomatillos have just started producing – so I anticipate more on that front. I have yet to dig the Irish or Sweet potatoes – who knows what they have in store for me.

And it is almost Apple season! Yay.

Have  you participated in the harvest season with an eye towards preserving? I would love to hear what you have been doing.

 

Oh Man! – A Chicken by any other name would still be as Fried.

Chicken! ChickenChickenChicken! Despite the aspersions cast upon this king of poultry, I love chicken. I think that chicken started getting a bad rap when it became “healthy”. Boneless, skinless chicken breast eroded the reputation of what is a most delicious addition to any meal. I don’t care for breast meat, it is pretty tasteless and dry most of the time. Gimmie the dark meat every time, and don’t you dare remove the skin. The skin is what makes it superb.

So, I decided to cull the food blogs to find y’all some good ideas for using chicken in a different way than you might regularly consider. First off, the best way to serve chicken – FRIED!

First off, from [No Recipes] we have Karaage or Japanese Fried Chicken. A soy, ginger & garlic marinade and cornstarch breading – how can you go wrong. I am especially intrigued by the mention that it is a commonly packed Bento (lunch box) item. I think this would make my little dude the envy of the entire preschool should I pack it for him.

From the always fabulous Chez Pim we score Thai-marinated fried chicken. I have never been to Thailand but this recipe with a garlic & cilantro marinade and rice flour for your dredge sounds like a good reason to book a flight. Or at least buy the slightly specialty pantry items to make it yourself.

Apparently the Asian type areas take their Fried Chicken as seriously as we do in the South because My Asian Kitchen rounds out the pack with Asian Ginger Marinated Fried Chicken. Again with the ginger and garlic – I really must try this, all of these people cannot be wrong. This recipe has an unusual aspect in that it uses self-rising flour. If you do not have any of the stuff you can make your own by combining 1 cup all-purpose flour, 1 1/4 t baking powder, and 1/8 t salt.

For some people, the fried is not their friend, and I am here to give you some love too. Don’t you worry.

I love witty blog names and Ezra Pound Cake cracks me up every time. They have provided us with an insanely tasty sounding Hawiian Chicken. With a lot of the Asian flavors included above it might just allow you to not miss the fried (tho I doubt it). Thoughtfully they have provided optional cooking directions for those of us who are grilling impaired. I don’t know what it is, but grills and I just don’t get along.

Getting even more exotic (at least for me)  Life’s Ambrosia gets all slow cookey on us with their Braised Indian Coconut Chicken. There is an awfully long marinade here – but hey it isn’t like you are actually doing anything when the chicken is marinading. And then, when your guests arrive and rave about how good the chicken is you can sigh and say “I am so glad you liked it, I was concerned that 10 hours for a dish might not be worth the time.” Then they will feel all guilty about the cheap a$$ bottle of wine they brought and next time you go to their house they will feed you steak.

Not that there is anything wrong with chicken. As I believe I mentioned, I love chicken. Y’all let me know how these dishes work out for y’all. My problem is deciding which one to make first.

 

Hobo Whenever: Huevos conFusion

Considering that the sponsor herself at thursday night smackdown was unable to keep her deadline (for good reasons) I am hoping that my tardiness will not eliminate me from participation. And since I am relying on her good nature (HAHAHA) I am going to confess that not only did I not make this on Tuesday for Hobo Tuesday; I did not even make it for dinner! It was my lunch, today, Thursday.

Whew, I feel better now that I’ve gotten that off of my chest.

Actually, I don’t know if I would let myself participate, because I didn’t even follow the theme. I don’t do spicy, but I do do things that could be spicy if you wanted them to be. Take this:

You got your Mexican in my French! No you got your French in my Mexican!

In a fit of literalness I have decided to call this exactly what it is:

Huevos Rancheros en cocotte from my own demented little mind

Hardware: a cute oven safe ramekin and an oven.

Software:
1/3 C doctored up canned black beans
2 eggs
2 T milk
2 big pinches of shredded cheddar cheese
1/8 C salsa (I use Pace, so sue me)

My beans were left over from burritos a few days ago, I start with a can of black beans and add a bunch of garlic, cumin, oregano and Liazano Salsa until they taste good; hence doctored up. Take your cutsey little ramekin and lube it up with butter (hey, this dish is 1/2 French – gotta work butter in somewhere) and pre-heat the oven to 375 or so.

Put the beans into the ramekin and make two beds for your eggs by pushing things around with a spoon and then carefully crack the eggs into their little troughs. Sprinkle some salt and pepper on them and then drizzle the 2 T of milk over top. Put in oven for about 8 minutes (or until things start to bubble and the whites look opaque) and then pull out and sprinkle the cheese around the bubbling edges and slide it back into the oven for a few more minutes. Take the eggs out when they still look underdone and let it rest for a couple of minutes. Spoon salsa over top and you are done.

Talk about a protein bomb! I guess you could work in some veggies with the beans if you are so inclined – but I thought it was great as is. Now, there are several locations where one could make this spicy. Jalapenos in the beans would be an obvious choice, but more sneaky would be sprinkling some cayenne over the eggs so that it looks like paprika. The hotter the salsa, the hotter the entire dish. I am a wuss, so mild all the way baby!

The Damage:
1/3 can black beans = .30
2 eggs = .42
Milk = .05
Cheese = .15

Everything else is pantry. I feel comfortable including Salsa as a pantry item considering it outstripped Ketchup as the most purchased condiment in the US.

The total comes to .92. I only cooked for one, but my hubby would have loved this had he been here – doubling the cost comes to $1.84 to serve 2 people, actually, to fill my husband we probably would have had to use more beans so lets call it an even $2.00.

 

SummerFest, late adopter – PeachFest!

What I should be posting right now is an entry for thursday night smackdown’s Hobo Tuesday. But I am a slacker, and a chicken. Specifically the theme for this month is super spicy food, and my idea of pretty darn spicy is the regular stuff at Taco Bell. When they ask me if I want some of the Medium sauce I am all like Whoaaaa there Nelly, let’s not get too crazy.

So I found another event to participate in – it is the Summer Fest! Apparently the whole shindig started last month with Herbs, but I always tend to be a little slow on the uptake. The theme of this month is tree fruits – and well, I live in Georgia and I really do not have any choice in the fruit I will be using. I mean really, could there be any other option?

So for this soiree I am getting back to one of the core values of this blog (since I have such a long and illustrious history, snort) and that is using one of my most precious commodities – time – to compensate for one of my more unsavory character traits – cheapness.

Straight from the Horse’s Mouth

One of the best cheap tips I can give you is to cut out the middle-man. If you can, buy your produce straight from the Farmer/Grower. Luckily I live in a State that believes in that very principle and sponsors the Atlanta State Farmer’s Market, a place where you can go year ’round and purchase produce directly from the Farmers that pulled it out of the ground, or off of the tree, or plant, or … you get the picture. There is even a meat market there that has three butchers there every week day – prices & sizes like a warehouse club without any taxes.

My mother and I toodled down there a couple of weeks ago and picked up a 1/2 bushel of peaches. Glorious peaches that smelled like … peaches, not those rock hard impostors you find at the grocery. Those, the best thing you can do with them is hot-glue on some googley eyes and try to recreate the ‘70 pet rock craze only fuzzier. And the best thing, for our 22 lbs of peaches we paid $11. That’s right, .50 per lb. Does little cheap-ass happy dance.

And Here is Where you start Robbing Peter

We have beautifully high quality peaches at rock bottom prices, but we also have 22 lbs of highly perishable fruit that has to have something done with it NOW! So we pay for it with time. An entire day of canning with my Mother to be precise. But ooooh, the rewards.

Angelic & Delicious

The Yield:

6 Quarts of Peach Pie Filling
6 1/2 Half-pints of Peach Preserves
6 1/2 Half-pints of Ginger Peach Preserves
8 Quarts of Frozen Sliced Peaches

All total 20 quarts + 1 pint of peachy perfection to last us for the coming year. Trying to calculate how much money we saved would be difficult. Figure that each 1/2 pint of “gourmet” peach preserves that you buy at the grocery would run you at least $3 x 13 half-pints and you get $39. Already $28 more than we spent on the fruit. Of course you have to factor in the cost of the canning supplies – but those are re-usable and I really do not want to get into amortizing the crap. A quart sized bag of frozen peaches is going to run you at least $2.50 x 8 =  $20. The peach pie filling, and let me tell you this isn’t anything like the stuff that comes out of the can, you would pay at least $5 a jar for this x 6 = $30.

So, for our $11 basket of peaches and lets say and additional $15 in supplies (including sugar, spices etc…) we yielded $89 worth of the good stuff. $89 – $26 = $63, obviously not enough to compensate two such talented ladies for an entire day’s work (or at least one talented lady and one who can almost stir without drooling into the pot) but that is where the love comes in to play.

I think we might need to go buy more peaches before the season is over.

p.s. I haven’t included any recipes because they all came from the Ball Complete Book of Home Preserving. I usually avoid posting recipes if I haven’t made some changes to them because that would run afoul of copyright issues. And anyone reading about home preserving will know full well that if you change anything then OH MY GOD YOU ARE ALL GOING TO DIE AND YOU WILL KILL YOUR FRIENDS WITH YOUR CANNED GOODS!!!!!!!!
I may exaggerate slightly.

 

Oh man I cannot wait! – Scallion Pancakes

I spend a good deal of time reading other blogs – some of them are even food blogs, Heh. And while a large number of y’all readers (not that I think a large number of people read my blog – but we are talking percentages here) are most likely as addicted to blogs as I am – some of you might not be. So I thought what would it hurt for me to share some of my finds.

I have a bookmark folder nested in my Food Blog Bookmark folder (which in turn is nested in my Blog folder – but I believe I have mentioned my anal-retentive nature previously) that is titled simply “Recipes to Try”. I just added one that made me excited enough to think of re-posting it here in my blog.

Over at Open Mouth Insert Cookie we have been gifted with the most elegant explanation of a dish that I have been dying to re-create – Scallion Pancakes. I have read explanations on how to make these before – but they never made much sense to me. I follow along just fine, but then I hit a set of instructions that might as well say “And a Miracle Occurred” voila,  Scallion Pancakes. A picture is worth a thousand words – and this lovely blogger has provided us with several thousand, so go forth and Pancake!

It has gotten me thinking about other flavors I could incorporate into the technique, who knows, perhaps I will have a post of my own based on this inspiration. Thank you OMIC – rock on with your bad self.

Considering that I am not posting anything original, should at least provide a couple more links from my stash. In keeping with the technique themes that made me go WOO HOO!

From Chaos in the Kitchen: How to make Homemade Air-popped MICROWAVE Popcorn. Someone who can free me from the Iron Fist of Doom held by that heinous chemical laden aisle of the Grocery.

And in an ironic twist, from the uber-healthy chomama: how to make your own small, square, onion soaked hamburgers courtesy of the chowpapa.

I guess that is enough for now, is this something y’all are interested in seeing more of? Because I am willing to sacrifice my online time to make y’all happy. I will throw myself on the food-blog hand grenade to save y’all. I am just that kind of girl.

 

Sandra Lee – eat your heart out: Cutlet Parmesan

Tonight for dinner I practiced a bit of desperation cooking. It is the kind of cooking where you have to eat something, but you really don’t feel like doing anything creative, or interesting, or even that is actually cooking. Luckily I have a toddler that is in his “I can live on Air and Milk” phase. I tried to be nice to him today and got him one of his favorite foods – Chick-fil-A. Long story short … I ended up with a CFA sandwich that had approximately 2 gnat sized bites taken out of it in my ‘fridge.

So I asked myself “What would Sandra Lee do?” and then I started “cooking”. I fished around in the back of the freezer and came up with 6 cubes of frozen spaghetti sauce and tossed them into a saucepan with some olive oil and garlic. Then I arranged the piece of CFA on a cookie sheet flanked by it’s buns (I peeled off the pickles and ate them). Sprinkled some garlic powder on the buns and some shredded mozzarella on the chicken and then slapped them all into a cold oven. Fired it up to 350 and put some water on to boil for spaghetti.

Yadda, Yadda, Yadda … Faux Chicken Parmesan.

I am ashamed.

Not looking so embarassing after all

But, it makes me feel much better about posting this meal, which I previously thought might be too boring/pedestrian to blog about. Obviously standards are not something that I am really strict about around here.

Pork Cutlet Parmesan

So lets talk about the Tyranny of Chicken. Perhaps it is the fact that Veal is both expensive and gauche that has led to the rise of Chicken Parmesan – but somehow the poultry lobby has managed to make any other version of a “Parmesan” dish nigh on unthinkable.

That is not to say that I bust out the boxed baby cow for a home meal – moral beliefs aside, I am too much of a cheapskate. But I do believe if I can pound it flat, bread it, pan fry it, and put some cheese on it then it is a viable candidate for inclusion in a “Parmesan” dish.

When my spelunking adventure into the freezer unearthed pork cutlets – the game was on!

A Process

Take chubby pieces of meat that are roughly the size of your closed hand (like you are going to give someone a high 5, not Jazz hands) and place them on a piece of plastic wrap. Place another piece of plastic wrap on top of them and whack the bejeebus out of them with something heavy and flat.

Not literally, you actually have to be kinda careful about not tearing the meat – but it isn’t hard. Just thwack it with something and get it flatter – now we are looking for Jazz Hands size. Do the breading thing to your pieces of flattened flesh.

The Hardware:
Skillet with oven-safe handle containing a kinda thin layer of vegetable oil and an oven preheated to 350ish.

The Breading Thing

Set up three containers with the following mixtures:
1: A beaten Egg
2: A mixture of Bread Crumbs (I am all snooty and like Panko, because nothing says Italian Breaded Meat like Japanese bread crumbs) and Parmesan cheese.
3: A mixture of plain ole flour, salt and pepper, (if you likea the espicy you can adda some red peppah).

I like having 1 & 2 in Tupperware type containers – boxes, you know something with high sides to contain the mess. 3 can just be on a plate – it isn’t crucial. When breading you need to remember that wet stuff sticks to dry stuff. So to start with your meat is wet so you want to dip it into the flour first – not to heavy, just a dusting. Then you dip it into the beaten egg to get it wet so that the dry crumbs will stick to your cutlet. From the egg mixture you move to the breadcrumb mixture – I tend to pat it to get things good and stuck to each other. I also just like fiddling with things.

If you are doing a small number (I tend to be doing 2) place them directly into your oven-safe skillet with a goodly layer of hot vegetable oil shimmering away. (Do we need to talk about melty handles again?) Let the first side get good and brown and crispy then flip them over. Chuck the whole skillet into the oven and it will brown on the other side. When it is close to being done open the oven and sprinkle whatever kind of cheese on top that tickles your fancy – I tend to always have mozzarella around the house, but I wouldn’t kick provolone out of bed.

I really cannot tell you how long to cook the things because I don’t know how efficient your pounding is. It won’t take to terribly long. Make sure you have your pasta on the boil and about ready to go and that your sauce is pretty much done and just bubbling happily on a back burner. The cutlets can sit for a bit while the pasta is finishing – but you don’t want to lose the crispy. I mean, isn’t that what it is all about? Plate your pasta, sauce to liking and top with crispy meat cutlet.

Voila! Fancy pants dinner; if Fancy Pants to you is Olive Garden, and considering the frequency of my dining out Olive Garden might as well be Sotto Sotto.

 

Hobo Tuesday (because Monday just couldn’t take the awesomness): Pork & Apple Pasty

As an homage to the originator of this challenge at thursday night smackdown I am going to “Live Blog” my contribution to this months competition. Except for the fact that there is no way anyone would possibly be reading this real time. So in actuality it will be in “Live Blogging” format without the fun of it actually being, you know, live.

Step One:

The theme is picnic foods so what the heck can I make – hows about a “Hand Pie”? They have sufficient picnic type cred to qualify right? I hope? And the first thing a hand pie needs is a crust. For a hand pie, or pasty if you will (and considering the connotations that you dirty birds might apply to that I think pasty is much more fun), you need a crust that will stand up to some abuse. My go to for this, and actually most pie type applications, is a hot water dough. I like them because they are not even remotely fussy and are pretty much idiot proof. Say what you will about the idiots. And I know you are going to read it and be in total disbelief that it could be a decent pie/tart dough.

3:45 pm – Try it. I DARE you.

1 1/2 C Flour
1/2 t Kosher Salt
1 egg, well beaten
2T + 2 t Water
1/3 C Vegetable Shortening

Combine flour and salt in a heat proof bowl, whisk lightly to get major lumps out. Put a small saucepan on the heat and combine water and shortening over low. Make a well in the flour and add the beaten egg, cut egg in with a knife. This process will seem similar but nowheres near as hard as the whole cutting butter in. As with the pain in the a$$ butter version you are looking to end up with something that is homogeneous and with clumps the size of peas or a little smaller.

3:51 – By this time the mixture on the heat should be close to boiling, and that is just where you want it. Once it has come to a boil and is trying to spit little blobs of molten fat at you – turn off the heat and pour directly into the bowl of flour. Did I mention that the bowl needs to be heatproof? I really wouldn’t use plastic. Stir everything together until it cools enough to mush it around with your hands. Make sure everything is combined and then pat into a disc shape (or 2, I did one but in retrospect 2 would have been better) and wrap in plastic wrap. Park them in the ‘fridge for about an hour.

4:00 Now – aren’t you glad that this is only faux live-blogging. If it were real you would be all like, crap, now I have to wait an hour and I would be all like HAHA I’m gonna go play Bejeweled Blitz …

4:30 – For the Filling: things I had laying around the kitchen

If this Pasty had a size it would be DD

1/2 lb ground Pork
1 small apple, grated
1/2 C Cheddar Cheese, grated
1 med onion, chopped (1 C)
1/2 t Salt
1/4 t each Pepper, Cinnamon and Ground Ginger

Put some olive oil in a pan and cook your ground pork adding the spices at the end of the cooking time. Remove to a holding bowl. Add more oil and toss in the onions, saute until you think that all the gunk on the bottom of the pan is going to burn and say “OH CRAP” and add a little bit of water to “deglaze” the pan like you are all professional and stuff. Cook it until just before the “OH CRAP” point again and then add the grated apple. Go to directly to “OH CRAP” and pull the water stunt again. Add a pinch of each of the above seasonings for good measure. When most of the water has cooked off, but before everything starts sticking to the bottom of the pan again – dump it all into the bowl with the pork. Allow to cool. Preheat your oven to 375.

5:00 – When your pie dough is ready you need to make it into 2 roughly dinner plate sized discs. If you are a good little reader you have 2 discs to work with and voila! If you are like me and didn’t think of it, you will have to divide the dough into 2 before you roll. Mix the cheese into the other glop and divide evenly between the two discs. Stick your finger into a little bit of water and run it along the bottom 1/2 edge of the discs and fold the suckers into 1/2 moons. Get all fancy pants with a fork and crimp the edges. Put on a sprayed baking sheet and bake for 40 minutes.

The Rest of the Story:

I also made a roasted potato salad to go with this, but this has already gotten way longer than I would want to read – so why should I inflict it upon y’all? I’ll do that at a later date. Also on the menu was a garden fresh sliced tomato – a perfect southern picnic food if there ever was one. What I will let you know is that the “dinner plate” sized pasties are much too large if you have a normal appetite. What should have happened was to divide the dough and fillings into quarters and make 4 of the puppies. With 1 1/2 lbs of potatoes you have enough ‘tater salad for 4 and a single sliced tomato can feed 4. So realistically this was a meal for 4 instead of 2. In actuality my husband ate his whole pasty and so will go hungry for lunch tomorrow when I am eating my leftovers.

Not really, but it is fun to imagine.

The Low Down:

Pork: reality – I bought a 2 pack Boston Butt from the warehouse store and butchered it up into roasts, cutlets, stew chunks and ground meat and put it into the freezer. Did the math and it came out to $1.40 per pound. But that isn’t realistic for most people. Lets say I got a good deal @ $1.99/lb and count this as $1 for the meat.
Apple: ~ 8 oz bought @ .99/lb = .50
Cheese: again the reality is that I bought it in a 5 lb bag and froze in 8 oz portions and it comes out to about .90 for a 1/2 lb. So my half cup cost about .23. On normal sale @ Kroger they run $1.60 per bag so that call it .40.
Onion: .25
Flour: I know you are gonna kill me, but I buy this in 25 lb bags and keep it in my freezer. Lets just skip the math and say .15.
Egg: 2.50/12 = .21
Shortening: no clue, lets say .10
Potatoes: were given to me free by my neighbor but lets say 1 1/2 lbs @ 5 lbs for 2.50 = .75
Tomato: also a freebie from my neighbor.  Lets say I bought it for .40.

Pantry Items: Spices, Olive Oil, Mustard, Garlic, AC Vinegar = .25

Total which I submit to Hobo Tuesday: 1+.50+.40+.25+.15+.21+.10+.75+.40+.25 = $4.01 (picnic for 4 unless you have a hungry man and then for 3)

Actual Total if you are an obsessive compuslive shopper like me who has a big chest freezer and a generous neighbor with a 1 1/2 acre “garden”: .70+.50+.23+.25+.08+.21+.10+.25 = $2.32

 

Bacon, Cheese and Onion Stromboli

It has been a crazy week, and it only promises to get crazier. But hey, who wants a boring life? I have been cooking, just nothing exceptionally interesting, or photogenic. We hosted a play-date and I made a big batch of French Dressing in anticipation of having salad for lunch. When I pulled out the lettuce it had gone to meet it’s vegetable maker- so I had to punt. Luckily I had made rice the day before and had plenty of leftovers. That might be considered a frugal tip. Whenever you cook rice make at least 2 cups (dry, which yields 6 cups cooked). Even if you do not need that much, it comes in exceptionally handy for quick meals. And you must, must, must use leftover rice to make Fried Rice.

Which is what I whipped up for the play-date mommy. Not that I took a picture of it, because that is pretty boring. But it was tasty. When I had a latecomer walk in the door starving I used the rest of the rice to make what I call “Mexican Fried Rice”. The same cooking technique as with fried rice – but instead of using soy, ginger, garlic and sesame oil I use Lizano salsa. I could also see tossing in some beans, chopped onions, corn – whatever you have. Not particularly authentic, but again very tasty. And again, not particularly photogenic.

That’s been the theme of the past week – non-photogenic foods. I tried, I really did. Here is a picture of the Stromboli I made a few nights ago:

Much tastier than it looks.

Homemade pizza is one of those things that is worth the time, especially when your dough recipe makes enough dough for a pizza and then another pizza or pizza like application. We usually eat pizza one night and then I put together something else a couple of nights later. Usually it is a calzone, but the ‘fridge was devoid of the requisite ricotta – so I made a Stromboli. Which is rolled instead of folded and does not usually contain ricotta.

I think that Stromboli is going to be the default for the foreseeable future. Waaaaaay easier than a calzone. And for the life of me, I cannot seem to keep ricotta in the house.

This particular bad boy involved a thin layer of pizza sauce topped with layers of bacon, mozzarella cheese, Parmesan cheese and thinly sliced onion. Normally I would have put some caramelized onions in there, but I didn’t think of it until too late. I was afraid that the onions wouldn’t cook enough so I sliced them super thin with my Most Excellent Knife of Sharpness (all kitchens should have one). In the future I will not bother with the thin slicing or the caramelizing. They stayed in the oven long enough to get nicely cooked/steamed inside the dough.

Lack of Recipe

I am afraid that is what we have today. I am not happy enough with my pizza dough recipe to share it yet. It was delicious for the Stromboli, after sitting in the ‘fridge for several days. But  the pizza I made with the fresh dough did not do it for me. It lacked that certain “chewiness” that is needed in good pizza dough. This version was much too bread like, but it lost that characteristic in the ‘fridge.

But I will leave you with one last tip – always bake bacon in the oven, do not bother with the stove-top. By using the oven you avoid 3/4 of the mess and get much better bacon (less of the fat cooks away before the lean is done). Use jellyroll/edged cookie-sheets lined with aluminum foil and clean-up is as simple as draining the fat and tossing the foil. The bacon keeps well in the ‘fridge and even longer in the freezer. And hey, bacon fat! Wonderful stuff for cooking pretty much anything. I used it to saute some mushrooms for spaghetti.

What do you use bacon fat for?

 

My 1st Daring Bakers: Apple Caramel Bakewell Tart

The June Daring Bakers’ challenge was hosted by Jasmine of Confessions of a Cardamom Addict and Annemarie of Ambrosia and Nectar. They chose a Traditional (UK) Bakewell Tart… er… pudding that was inspired by a rich baking history dating back to the 1800’s in England.

That would be the mandatory “blog checking” statement for Daring Bakers. If I do not include it they will send their stable of high powered attorneys out to hunt me down and hang my by my toes from the nearest Bakery Sign. Well, not really, but they will kick me out … eventually.  But enough chit-chat, lets get to the money shot!

Ain't she pretty?

There were two mandatory elements to this challenge, one was the Frangipane Top and the other was the Shortcrust Bottom/sides. What went in-between was up for debate. Apparently the traditional filling is Strawberry Jam. So of course, being completely traditional I just went ahead with that.

snort

bwahahahahahahahaha

ummm, yeah, like anyone believes that. I spent some time on the DB forums spying reading what others were doing and Audax commented on how he prevented soggy crust by putting a layer of chocolate over the bottom before baking. Brilliant! But I could not swipe the idea directly so I kept that on the back burner. Wracking my poor little noggin I tried to decide what kind of fruit filling I would like to go with.

Many of the other bakers, after actually doing the challenge, remarked on how much they liked the fact that it isn’t an overly sweet dessert. PHOEEY ON THAT! I want my teeth to rot out of my head. Armed with the knowledge that the topping & crust come out not too sweet I was better able to decide what to add. And in the end I decided to on a riff on a classic American flavor treat for this classically British dessert. Caramel Apples.

So, sandwiched between the Frangipane and Shortcrust are a layer of caramels melted in a little milk to keep them from setting up too tight and Apple Butter. I adore apple butter. It’s cinnamon-y lusciousness is something I could eat with a spoon, but usually you have to put it on some biscuits or something – just to keep up appearances. But not this time, I dumped the entire jar in there, and it was good.

I am not certain if I can actually post the recipe here, so I will hold off until the reveal. If it turns out I can I will update with the recipe and the issues I had.

Early the next day, we return to find our Heroine hard at work …

I have checked some of the more experienced bakers posts, and yes indeedy I can post the recipe. Here goes it!

Hardware: 23cm (9”) tart pan or pie tin (preferably with ridged edges) [I used a 9" round straight sided cake pan], rolling pin, big hole grater, bowl, hand mixer

Software for the crust:

225g (8oz) all purpose flour
30g (1oz) sugar
2.5ml (½ tsp) salt
110g (4oz) unsalted butter, cold (frozen is better)
2 (2) egg yolks
2.5ml (½ tsp) almond extract (optional)
15-30ml (1-2 Tbsp) cold water [I ended up using 4 T and I don't know if that was enough]

Sift together flour, sugar and salt. Grate butter into the flour mixture, using the large hole-side of a box grater [this was a giant pain in the butt]. Using your finger tips only, and working very quickly, rub the fat into the flour until the mixture resembles bread crumbs. Set aside.

Lightly beat the egg yolks with the almond extract (if using) and quickly mix into the flour mixture. Keep mixing while dribbling in the water, only adding enough to form a cohesive and slightly sticky dough.

Form the dough into a disc, wrap in cling [ooooh fancy Brit word for Saranwrap] and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes

Software for the Frangipane:

125g (4.5oz) unsalted butter, softened
125g (4.5oz) icing sugar [fancy Brit word for powdered sugar]
3 (3) eggs
2.5ml (½ tsp) almond extract
125g (4.5oz) ground almonds [I ground my own in the blender, didn't bother to take the skins off]
30g (1oz) all purpose flour

Cream butter and sugar together for about a minute or until the mixture is primrose in colour and very fluffy. Scrape down the side of the bowl and add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. The batter may appear to curdle. In the words of Douglas Adams: Don’t panic. Really. It’ll be fine. After all three are in, pour in the almond extract and mix for about another 30 seconds and scrape down the sides again. With the beaters on, spoon in the ground nuts and the flour. Mix well. The mixture will be soft, keep its slightly curdled look (mostly from the almonds) and retain its pallid yellow colour [fancy Brit spelling for color].

Assembly:

Short Crust
Bench flour
250ml (1cup (8 US fl. oz) jam or curd, warmed for spreadability [I used a whole jar of Apple Butter - probably 2+ cups]
Frangipane

One handful blanched, flaked almonds [I bought what they had at the store - which was skin on]
Place the chilled dough disc on a lightly floured surface. If it’s overly cold, you will need to let it become acclimatised for about 15 minutes before you roll it out. Flour the rolling pin and roll the pastry to 5mm (1/4”) thickness, by rolling in one direction only (start from the centre [oooh more fancy Brit spelling] and roll away from you), and turning the disc a quarter turn after each roll. When the pastry is to the desired size and thickness, transfer it to the tart pan, press in and trim the excess dough. Patch any holes, fissures or tears with trimmed bits. Chill in the freezer for 15 minutes.

Preheat oven to 200C/400F.

Remove shell from freezer, spread as even a layer as you can of jam onto the pastry base. Top with frangipane, spreading to cover the entire surface of the tart. Smooth the top and pop into the oven for 30 minutes. Five minutes before the tart is done, the top will be poofy and brownish. Remove from oven and strew flaked almonds on top and return to the heat for the last five minutes of baking.

The finished tart will have a golden crust and the frangipane will be tanned, poofy and a bit spongy-looking. Remove from the oven and cool on the counter. Serve warm, with crème fraîche, whipped cream or custard sauce if you wish.

When you slice into the tart, the almond paste will be firm, but slightly squidgy and the crust should be crisp but not tough.

For my filling:

I bought a bag of Kraft Caramels and peeled about 28 (I did not peel extra and eat them, at least you cannot prove it) and chucked them into a double boiler. Or I chucked them into a metal bowl over a saucepan of simmering water – you guess what actually happened. I added a few glugs of milk to make sure that it didn’t set up hard enough to pull out my mom’s new crown. Those things are expensive and painful, I didn’t want her to have to go through that again.

For assembly, I poured the caramel in the crust and spread it out. Then topped it with the apple butter. First I put in a cup as the recipe said, and it didn’t look like enough. Then I put in another cup and it looked pretty good, but there was only about 1/4 C left in the jar and I didn’t want to keep that in the ‘fridge to interfere with my other science experiments – so I dumped the whole thing in. Proceeded with the recipe as written.

After the allotted cooking time it still wiggled like Santa’s tummy and it was getting really brown on top. So I dropped the heat to 325 (no clue what that is in Celsius) and let it cook longer. And longer, and longer until it appeared to be done. All total I think it was in there for at least 50 min to an hour. Your results may vary.

Conclusion:

I am glad I finished my first Daring Bakers challenge and look forward to the next one. This is something that I never would have cooked left to my own devices. heh heh heh

 

Kitchen Massacre: Beets do not make the cut

Desperation makes you do funny things. My particular issue right now is the E-man’s refusal to eat vegetables. If it isn’t in the shape of a fry then he doesn’t want it in his mouth. Actually, that is not true. He will squash mashed potatoes in sometimes, others it is a tool of the devil. There was a short period of time where he would eat mashed sweet potatoes. No longer. Potatoes are also acceptable in chip shape – but the sweet potato chips received the cold shoulder. But like a mule I keep on trying.

For inspiration I frequently look to the blog Chow Mama because it is awesome. For the first time in my life I brought home kale from the Farmer’s Market and I made the much raved about Kale Chips. When they were done I  handed himself one and said “Chip” he took it dubliously and regarded it as if I had just handed him a deep fried roach to partake of. He nibbled off a small piece and promptly handed it back to me, no amount of entreaty would entice him into taking another one from my hand.

The implements of destruction

I had great hopes for Beet Chips. I worked hard on them. Busted out the fancy pants mandolin and made the most god-awful mess of my kitchen. Really, I expected to see Grissom walking through my door with his little briefcase (of course I would prefer Warrick or Nick, or both. Did you see the one episode where the body was in a pool and they did “odds ‘n evens” to see who had to go into the pool. My thought was whomever goes into the pool in their t-shirt I WIN!!!)

I sliced them as thin as possible – but apparently not thin enough. I tossed them lightly in olive oil – but apparently not lightly enough. Sprinkled lovingly with Kosher salt – but not … well you get the picture. I cooked them at the lowest my oven would go for about, oh, three days. Sorry, I exaggerate, but I cooked them for a long da@n time. Eventually I declared them done and yanked them out of the oven. After a more thorough search of the intarweb I found one person who helpfully noted that they do not harden up until they cool. WELL that would have been USEFUL about 3 hours ago …

Not being a big beet fan, I was skeptical – but they were pretty darn tasty. The few slices that I managed to get paper thin were bordering on delicious. Did the E-man like them?

Not a chance in H-E double hockey-sticks!

As with the Kale chips he dutifully sampled a molecule of one, and returned them to my hand. I packed them in lunches to play dates and he refused to eat them. The other children at the play dates LOVED them. I think I am giving up on veggie chips for awhile.